Lessons from the National Conference of State Legislatures

America is divided. Families argue politics at the dinner table. Cable news pundits trade metaphorical blows, and keyboard warriors troll their political opponents. Too often, angry words set the stage for political violence. But, there is another way to have productive, if difficult, conversations that move us forward, together.

Members of the S360 team attended the National Conference of State Legislatures in July 2026. In the opening program for this year’s event, Governors JB Pritzker (IL) and Kevin Stitt (OK), State House Speakers Joanna McClinton (PA) and Matt Huffman (OH) offered a panel conversation – “How to Disagree Better: Leading in Polarized Times.”

This session discussed how authentic leadership can turn partisan argument into productive conversation. The main theme our team heard is that you can disagree, while not being disagreeable. Remember, that the people elected leaders to solve problems – and that our leaders should live into that ethos.

Here are 5 tips for how to have conversations with disagreements:

1) Self Regulate – having an idea challenged is part of democratic process, it shouldn’t be viewed as a physical threat

2) Be Curious — ask questions to you can better understand their stance

3) Listen to Understand, Not to Win — self-evident, really, but goal should be learn and understand different perspectives versus convincing someone else why they are wrong

4) Be Passionate But Respectful— go ahead and defend your values with conviction but do so without questing anyone else’s humanity

5) Find Things You Have In Common — we share more values than we realize and we should look for common ground.

More ideas at www.disagreebetter.us